This is a story I wrote for a competition with my writing group, which unfortunately, didn’t win. I was quite proud of it, however, so enjoy it. What’s more, the title is not what you might be thinking…
Dear Honoured Recipient,
Wonderful news!
You are cordially invited to attend
The wedding and reception of
Mr Trevor Rory Dobson
and Miss Desdemona Cordelia Derby-Spencer
Saturday 2nd July 2022
Full details on the reverse.
R.S.V.P.
Wow! You’ve never seen a wedding chapel like this before! How much work and money did the Derby-Spencers put in to decorating Brookdale Church? There are rose arbours spanning the aisle, dotted with blooms of every hue. Sweet pea vines wind up the columns and fruiting apple branches hang from the rafters. Vivid rays of bright sunlight cutting through the stained-glass windows make the sight even more memorable. It’s only when Trevor and Dessie kiss at the altar and Mendelsohn’s Wedding March rings from the organ’s pipes that you resolutely turn your focus away from the decorations to throw confetti. This will be a day to remember for you, just as much as it is for the new Mr and Mrs Dobson.
The reception takes place in a marquee on the lawns of Charger Towers, the Derby-Spencers’ estate, just outside Brookdale. Charger Towers has 120-acre grounds, riding stables and a chequerboard flagstone courtyard. The towers themselves are grand yet enigmatic, cleverly blending the familiar shape of an English country mansion with castle battlements and domes like those of Slavic churches.
The marquee is quite a sight too. It’s set up along the edge of the courtyard, in case rain had made the lawn muddy. Light green gossamer dappled with flower petals hangs over the dining tables. A faint scent of apples in the air suggests that these hangings have been perfumed. The DJ’s booth has been set up early, so that it can play mellow classics like Air on a G String and The Dance of the Reed Pipes to welcome the guests.
You check the seating plan and make your way to your chair. It’s at the Duke’s Table, for all the tables have gentry names; Lord, Earl, Viscount, Marquis, and the King’s Table for the bride and groom.
The Duke’s Table is right beside the serving tables and the scents that now assail your nose make your mouth water. There are hot soups in tureens, warm French bread, succulent roasts ready to carve, expensive-looking wines, nutty salads for vegetarians, juice and soft drinks for youngsters and much more.
Yet you must endure hunger a little longer. The waiters, whose scarlet waistcoats make them look more like royal footmen than caterers, are pouring guests glasses of champagne. Trevor, the groom, is about to read the first of the speeches.
‘Welcome,’ Trevor calls out, ‘To the most special day of my life.’
You join in with “Aw”.
‘You may ask,’ Trevor continues, ‘How does a mere stable groom get to be the husband of a lady of such substantial prospects and heart-aching beauty as Desdemona Derby-Spencer?’
He pauses, but not for effect. He’s sweating with agitation.
‘It’s all thanks,’ Trevor manages, ‘To Dessie’s Uncle Elsinor.’
There are gasps. All over the marquee, smiles turn to gapes and bright eyes become dark with concern. Your feel your guts turn to liquid.
Uncle Elsie? Has Trevor gone mad?
Guardian, Monday 20th June 2022
Leading Horse Breeder in Court Over “Atrocious” Animal Rights Abuses
Trevor lets the murmuring continue a while before raising a hand. Dessie’s father looks incensed, but Dessie is giving Trevor a pleading look, urging him to continue.
What? She wants him to commit social suicide?
‘Yes, I know what you’re thinking,’ Trevor says heavily. ‘How dare I show such lack of sense, such gall, by bringing up this cloud hanging over our lives on such a bright and happy day! How dare I bring up a man who may have betrayed the business his family has dedicated itself to proudly for generations by mistreating his animals! Well, to me and Dessie, Elsinor Derby-Spencer MSc, affectionately known as Uncle Elsie, is much more than a common criminal.’
You and the other guests are now transfixed. Trevor is not raising his voice, yet his voice is clear and bold, and he speaks with grim conviction.
‘Six short years ago,’ Trevor continues, ‘I was an unemployed former bank clerk, penniless and facing eviction. I took a walk in the country one morning to put my worries aside. Beside the fence there’s this horse, a beautiful bay with soft brown eyes. I put a hand up to stroke her. She loves it. Suddenly, there’s a little grey there too, wanting a stroke. I stroke him at the same time. Then along comes a tubby chap with a bristly grey beard in riding gear, with a lovely redhead in tow. The man says; “Well I never, Dessie! Smokey and Maple are two of our flightiest horses and they trust him on sight!” The lady says; “We could take him on as a groom, Uncle Elsie.” She was half joking, but when I told her I was unemployed, Uncle Elsie offered me a job and full training on the spot. Thanks to Uncle Elsie, I’m now a fully British Horse Society qualified groom with a house of my own. Best of all, I asked Dessie out when I got my first pay packet, and you can guess the rest. Whether the jury finds Elsinor Derby-Spencer guilty or not, he helped made this day possible. Before I thank those present, a toast, and my heartfelt thanks… to Uncle Elsie.‘
You echo his words and drain your glass, hoping for better things to come.
Guardian, Monday 4th July 2022
Breeder Cleared of All Charges
You send Desdemona a WhatsApp message the moment you’ve read the article.
Did you get the news about Uncle Elsie?
She soon sends a reply. Saw headline on plane to Naples. Ever so happy.
You: Me too. Enjoy Capri. Proud of Trevor for believing in him.
Trevor: Thanks a million. We will enjoy ourselves. See you soon.
You put the phone down and gaze happily at the clear blue sky.
rpatersonwriting 